the Stairway to Heaven

No posts since March.

Well, that means I’ve been way too busy to sit around and type, what with playing Farmville on FB and all.

Actually…

I’ve been doing a lot of training. Doing the couch to 5K training program over again, hiking, lifting weights, bicycling, etc.    And eating too much.  With all that exercise I get hungry and still have that ugly tendency to overeat.  I’ve gained 8 pounds in the past year!  Uugh!

Still

I feel healthier than I ever have.  That has to count for something.

This past weekend is an example of the business I’ve allowed into my life.
Saturday at noon was a wedding reception for my oldest niece, Crystal.   I could only stay there for a little over an hour because JR and I had planned to ride in the 9-11 memorial ride and had to be there by 3:00pm.     The reception was very nice and I was pleasantly surprised that all my brothers and one of my sisters were there.  I would really have enjoyed staying longer as we don’t get together often enough.

The 9-11 ride was also quite enjoyable.  Thousands of motorcycle riders participated. The newspaper said there were bikes stretched for 18 solid miles.  Although this ride has happened annually for 9 years now, this is the first time we have participated.  I was amazed at how many people lined the streets in support of the slogan “We will never forget”.    There were so many people all along the 37 miles that we rode.  It took us an hour and a half to complete the ride and must have been a bit of a pain for the drivers with all the starting and stopping.  But to me it was amazing!

So….a relaxing evening at JR’s, a good night’s sleep, breakfast and then I drove to Halfway Dam in R.B. Winter State Park to do some training on the course where I’ll be racing next Sunday.  Lisa was planning to meet me, but she had a migraine and stayed in bed.  So I did the 13 miles all by myself.  Normally I would at least have Zena with me, but since I was at JR’s overnight and she was 35 miles away at home it didn’t make sense to go get her. (I did consider it).     Once again it was a rainy, cloudy, foggy, wet day on that particular trail.  I certainly hope the forecasted weather for this coming weekend holds true and we actually get sunshine.  I’ve yet to do that trail without wet conditions.    It took me longer than I wanted. 4 hours, 40 minutes.  I was hoping for right around 4 hours total, so I know I really need to push myself harder on Sunday.  Dry conditions would help as some of the climbs were really slick.  Especially those rocks pictured above on the dreaded Stairway.    I’ve never actually done this race, but I’ve heard the cabin at the start of that climb plays the song “Stairway to Heaven” while race participants are climbing.   Sounds fun.  : )

So, the point of all this is that while my weekend was quite interesting, enjoyable and lots of fun it is also just a bit too much to pack into 2 short days.  The next few weekends are no better when it comes to packing stuff into a weekend.

Race this weekend, wedding in San Diego the next, another race the following weekend.  After October 2nd I need to make a conscious effort to tone down the weekends.    I’m tired just anticipating all the fun and exertion of them.  So much fun! So little time!!

Work is seriously cutting into my social life.

I arrived at the bridge and was immediately greeted by a huge and very helpful group of volunteers. Parking attendants, rescue personnel, people handing out goodie bags. All full of smiles and very encouraging. Did I mention it was cold? I believe it was in the mid to high 30′s at that point. I walked from the parking area over to the Western Clinton Sportsman’s Association where the start/finish lines were and to get my timing chip. I got there early, around 6:30 and the race didn’t start til 8:30 so I had plenty of time to kill. Rumors were flying around that there were snow flurries up on top at the View. Uuugh!

While waiting I ran into friends I’ve met during training runs, work days and my previous Mega race. I also met in person a couple of new friends that I’ve “Met” through FaceBook.
Finally 8:30 arrived and it was Go Time.
Runners up front, hikers in the back and those of us who mix it up in the middle.

Announcements were made, we all promised not to litter on the trail, and then we were off. The air of excitement and anticipation at a race is impossible to describe. As you start off you know that over the next several hours anything is possible. You could have an amazing race, or the worst could happen and you could get injured.
I had been planning to try to run the first flat road mile to the point where the actual mountain trail begins, however, I run very rarely in the mornings and I had a hard time in the cold morning making my legs work fast. I chose to walk as fast as I could and conserve my energy for that first “hill”, I knew from experience 2 weeks ago that it is TOUGH!

In any race finding a good point for a large number of people to access a mountain trail would be difficult. This one is no exception. The first mile of road thins out the crowd a bit, but still the first single track section gets backed up. Most people make the best of it, chatting a bit with people close to you, snapping pictures, etc.

The spring wild flowers such as Dutchmen’s Breeches, wild Phlox and several others I don’t know the names of were putting on a show for us as well.. Eventually we got past the single track and started up that first hill. I’m not sure of the name of it but heard “humble hill” several times. It did that to many people who had to pull off to the side, let others pass and catch their breath.

2 weeks ago when I did this same hill in 80 degree heat I had to stop twice, so I was very pleased that I was able to keep going without stopping this time.
Finally we reach level ground and are trotting along at a slow jog back in the same direction we came from but up higher along a gorgeous rock ridge. Then the approach to what Brian Newcomer calls “The Separator” because it separates the men from the boys. It was slow climbing, and quite frankly I was happy to follow a man going pretty slow and just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Hearing the guys behind me panting just as hard as me was gratifying as well. Seriously…that hill makes you feel like you really put very little training in at all in the past.
Finally, the top and Hyner View.

I barely saw it. I still had plenty of water in my belt, didn’t need to use the rest room, so I just kept going. Good choice actually because it got me ahead of quite a few people who did stop. Plus it really was snowing up there and cold and windy. It wasn’t a lot of snow, just a few little round balls of white.
The next section goes down, down the mountain again (approximately 2.5 miles) to the next aid station at the beginning of Johnson Hollow. Johnson Hollow is numerous stream crossings and a very gradual uphill trail. You don’t even realize that it is up hill at first but after a mile or two it gets steeper. My feet got wet and muddy, but thanks to my wool socks, they didn’t feel at all wet. The snow I mentioned from up top was present off and on for the rest of the day as well. We got to the top, walked/trotted along the top for a bit and then headed back down towards Cleveland Hollow. At this point I was behind a young woman with a pair of trekking poles and an older gentleman (I think he said he was 69) who were moving along pretty quickly. He was doing an amazing job and was very friendly. When we got to the bottom of Cleveland Hollow I loved the way he greeted the Fire Company Volunteers who were there to support us.
Then it was back up again. Up and up, cross a power line clearing, on up, around some switchbacks and on up to the S.O.B. All I can say about the S.O.B. is thank God it’s short and I was glad the ground was wetter than the last time I did it because the loose dirt and stones weren’t as slippery this time. Also having done this 2 weeks ago I knew that from this point on there were about 3 more mountain miles and they were mostly flat or down hill from now on. Yippee!!!! I felt like at that point I was on auto pilot. My hips were hurting and it actually felt better to trot along at a slow jog than to try to walk, so I just kicked it in and kept moving. The trail goes on a grassy access road for about a mile. While on that section of trail I chatted a bit with a young woman who had taken a bad fall earlier on and was having quite a bit of pain in her left arm. She didn’t think it was broken, but it was swollen and hurting her quite a bit. Her comment to me was, “I’m not quitting. I worked way too hard to let a broken arm make me quit!!” Amazing young woman. I wonder how she is doing?
At the end of the wide grassy trail you reach another gorgeous view of the mountain after mountain at a clearing made by the gas companies, then head back through the woods, across a couple of roads and finally to Huff Run. Huff Run is just plain knee jarring down, down, down. It’s a mile and a half (I think) of mostly single track, rocky down hill. Like last time, by the time I hit Huff Run, I just wanted to be DONE so no matter how my knees felt, I just kept moving.
I hit the end of Huff Run and the hard top at 5 hours, 30 minutes and knew that I was going to beat my time of 2 weeks ago. Hooray!! After a combination of jogging and walking across the bridge, down the dirt road and up a short trail the finish line was in sight. It feels amazing to hear and see lots of people yelling encouragement for those last 100 yds. after 16 miles.
I also loved the final touch of young men in Army Uniforms handing me my medal!
Awesome day!
My finish time was 5 hours, 46 minutes.

The food available afterwards was wonderful although I have to admit anything HOT would have been wonderful at that point. The people who volunteer and give of their time to make this a good experience for the contestants are wonderful and very much appreciated. Without them the experience would not be what it is.

I’m still recovering.

Saturday night I had trouble sleeping because of the pain in my hips and knees, even after taking several advil.  I woke up extremely sore, but today was just moderately so.

Yesterday every movement hurt, and moving up and down stairs was beyond painful.   Lisa and I took a 2 mile easy hike at Rider Park so I could get the blood flowing through the muscles and that really seemed to help. I was surprised at how much better I slept last night and how much less sore I was this morning.

The worst of the pain still is in my hips just a bit, mostly my left butt cheek.
I can’t quite figure out what caused that to be the worst, but there it is.  (no pun intended)
Tonight I went to the gym and did a short stretching routine, and a few sit ups and push ups.  Hopefully that will help.  The next couple of nights will most likely be off nights, maybe just short walks with Zena.  Then on Thursday I want to do something a bit more strenuous.

How long to take off and recover?   Not too long.  I’ll do my best to listen to my body and take it a bit easy for a week or so, then I want to hit it again pretty hard.

Time to drop the last poundage and hit my goal weight. I need to cut some so I can actually see the muscles I’ve been building.  The pictures from the Mega show me that I have not only not lost in the past few months, I can see the 5 or 6 pounds I put back on.  Reality Check.

Cheating does not pay off, even if I am working out hard.  Not for me.  Those fat cells are right there waiting to suck it right back in, to blow up out of control again.

But I’m not going to let that happen.

I’m going to move on with training, aiming for the Hyner in the spring.

Until then, this will serve as a wonderful reminder of a memorable day!

The Bald Spot as seen from the Castanea Picnic Grounds.

Very foggy start at 7am this morning. Over 700 contestants started out on the 25.41 mile trek through the mountains of Bald Eagle Forest.
The first three miles are on fairly level road from the Castanea Picnic Grounds to the mountain.
Personally, I think the road section sucks, but at least it is a good warm up for the first leg of the trail.
This is a long uphill section called the Upper Link and it feels like it is never going to end. People were pretty bunched up on this section of the trail and unless you were willing to pass in the leaves and rocks to the side of the trail, you were stuck behind the person in front of you. No problem for be as by the time I was over half way up that section I was huffing and puffing and walking pretty slowly anyway. Finally it crosses the Jump Up (that was taken out of the race this year) and the Link Trail is mostly down hill. Again, there were so many people here that unless you could take a passing opportunity, you just followed the person in front of you.

There is a pretty steep section leading up to the legendary boulder field (Bald Spot). a three quarter mile climb over huge white boulders. The field is flagged with wooden poles and orange flags and there was a man at the beginning telling everyone to stay to the left of the flags. I was quite pleased with my climbing time on the boulders of 35 minutes. The fog didn’t lift until the last 50 yards or so of that field, so there was no view of the valley this morning.

After the boulder field you cross along Rattlesnake Ridge. This section is quite rocky (rocks as opposed to the huge boulders in the Bald Spot). Here I passed a man who was complaining of how badly his ankles hurt him, but also told me that he ran a half marathon a week or so ago and is planning another next weekend. (Clearly he is Nuts!!) Soon after that, a woman ahead of me fell and hurt her arm pretty badly. I don’t know if it is broken, but I do know she had a long walk down Winchester (steep and slick) before she could get picked up by 4-wheeler and taken for medical attention. Going down Winchester I also met a man who had blown out his knee and was very slowly making his way down what were some very slippery stones until he also could be taken for medical attention.
The Mega does take it’s victims.
I had no idea what to eat for breakfast this morning, so all I ate was a cup of cottage cheese and some dried fruit. by the time I hit that first aid station I was Starving! The PBJ and a half banana were wonderful. I had already been taking some of the gels I had with me.
From there I decided to jog down Kammerdiner trail to Zindel Park where the next aid station is located. It is an old Jeep Trail at the base of 2 mountains with a stream running along the side, at least most of the time, the rest of the time it crosses the jeep trail challenging you to keep your feet dry. On this section of trail while running I caught up with a young lady who was doing a very fast walk….I complimented her on her walking speed and she told me that anger was driving her. : ) Whatever it takes. I kept on jogging.

At the end of Kammerdiner you cut to the left of the Reservoir and hit the Black Diamond. You climb up some pretty steep and muddy single trak trail and back down them…that trail is very black mud, I wonder if that’s where it gets it’s name? The downhills here nearly put me on my butt a couple of times, but I managed to keep my feet. Finally I hit the road leading to Zindel park and chose to walk, knowing that the goat path (from hell) was next.
At this point the young lady walking fast caught up to me and we got to the aid station together.

Lisa met me at the park and I got a chance to use the porta john, get a bit more food and fill up my Camelbak. Lisa snapped a couple of pictures as well.
Then I started off on the goat path.

There were several people near me who expressed their apprehension when they saw the cliffs. They decided at that point to stay behind and let me set the pace up the hill. It’s very steep and the going was slow. The path levels off a bit at the top of the cliffs, then goes on up. Next there is a short downhill that is extremely steep, a quick level and then…the Lightning Bolt. To me, this is the worst section of the entire trail. It goes up and up. Just when you think you see the top, you reach it and there is more. I was walking up very slowly, doing my best to keep to a pace that I wouldn’t have to stop and take a breathing break. I did it, and felt really good about passing several guys who are younger than me! Yeah!
Eventually there is a real top and then a long gradual downhill. This section always makes my right knee hurt. The section from Zindel Park to the bottom of the Lightning Bolt took me 50 minutes.
Up next…Gut Check. another uphill, of course, but not nearly as long as Lightning Bolt. From there you follow the Gorge Trail, Razor’s Edge, Down & Out, Cross Line Trail and Lost Trail, finally meeting up with Kammerdiner Jeep Trail again for 4 or 5 miles. The steepest part of this I believe is what they call Down and Out….it’s a new section of trail that climbs (of course) over more rocks and lots of duff. Then at the top you go over more rocks…go figure.

At one point during this time frame I caught up with the fast walking young lady and asked her if she had walked her anger off yet. No, not a bit, was her answer. We struck up a conversation and ended up finishing the race together. Her name is Laura and she and her husband were both doing the race. Being with Laura helped the last half of the race go much more smoothly for me. She set a good fast pace and we found out that we have a friend in common as well. At one of the aid stations her husband was waiting for her and he also finished with us.
Kammerdiner trail takes you over 5 or so miles of trail and then you do a side mountain section that isn’t terribly steep called Kane’s Trail. From there you get to the road again for another 3 lousy miles. Those 3 miles just suck. You want to be done, the asphalt feels hard, hard, hard and did I mention you just want to be done?
I kept wishing I had the energy to run a bit, but I didn’t. For this part I know that if I had not been with Laura keeping up her steady, fast pace I would have slowed down. Finally we made it to the picnic grounds and the end. Lisa was there cheering for me and at her encouragement I ran the last few yards to cross the finish line at 8:48:14.
My goal has been to finish under 10 hours.
I made that goal.

The day was really hard, the weather turned out to be great, the volunteers that staff the aid stations and all the sponsors at the picnic grounds are amazing.
The dominos pizza was fantastic!
I’m stiff and sore, but I only have one blister and it isn’t too bad.
Do Gels give anyone else “stomach issues”?

I’m glad to be done and I’m so glad I did it.

well, not exactly, but close.

this morning the forecast called for rain saturday morning.

now it says this:

Oct 3  Saturday Clouds giving way to sun . Highs in the low 70s and lows in the upper 40s.

I hope that this is correct….I don’t want to run in the rain over those rocks.

Sunday afternoon with Holly took a lot out of me emotionally and it’s taken me several days to sort out (or should I say “block out”) my emotions and feel like I’m back on an even keel.  Processing what truly feels right now like the loss of my best friend is tough.  She’s still here, I still love her more than I can say.  But she is in so much pain that it is hard to really see my Holly in there.  She said she doesn’t know where her spirit went.  I think she is curled up in Jesus arms.  Hiding from the pain.  Hiding from the fear of what her life has become and may become yet.

It’s a relief to come home from work and go work out.  When I am at the gym or out running, I can let go of the feelings and just work my body.

I’ve been having weird dreams at night. I can’t remember what they were, just that it was weird.

They are probably a result of my not facing and dealing with my feelings about what is happening with Holly.   I can write bits and pieces of it, I can talk about it to some extent, I can even allow myself to feel part of it.  But I can’t delve into what is really going on and deal.  I don’t even want to at this point.  It hurts way too much.   I’ve been through some very painful things, but this one ranks up there above them all.  I’ve lost love and I’ve lost family.  Holly is more than those to me….she is a part of me.

Best friends for life.

She wants to come watch me cross the finish line on Saturday.

How I wish I could feel good about that and really want her to be there.  But I don’t.

Not because I don’t want to share it with her.  I do.

But because I know that a 3 hour ride will be so painful for her. Then she will be sitting there at the park for possibly several hours while I’m tramping the trails.  What will she sit on?  There are only benches under the pavilions.      It’s supposed to be a high of 60 degrees, rainy in the afternoon.  There will only be porta-potties there for her to use.  Ummmm….how will she do that?      If I know she is there I will worry and worry the entire time.  On a good note it will make me push myself harder than I ever have so that she won’t be sitting there so long.  But her immune system is not good, sitting out in the cold and damp weather will have a high probability of making her sick.  She doesn’t need that on top of everything else.     Instead of sharing my success (or failure) with her I will be worried and taking care of her.  It feels very selfish to me but after working so hard for a year, I don’t want to feel that way at the end.

I ran on monday night, worked out at the gym last night and was planning to go for a run tonight.   Instead I am sitting here typing.

And I need to go take turkey gravy and waffles out to the Y for Chris and Briggsy.  Poor young men are “starving to death.  It’s ridiculous how hungry they are”.  So I’m putting off getting the exercise.   Tomorrow and Friday night are planned nights off anyway.  Rest and relax before MT day.   Really.

Tomorrow after work, I get my hair done so no grays show when it’s all plastered against my head.

Friday night I get all my stuff packed up and ready to go.  Camelbak filled, electrolytes in place, gels, extra socks stowed.  Bandaids and blister relief, Tylenol.   Another bag filled with items to shower and change into after the race.  Camera ready.  OMG!!!  After all this time it’s really almost here.

I am so excited!!!

ROCK ON!!!!!

Later…

I took the boys their food, then decided to take Zena out for a quick walk.   As usual, once I get out there walking feels too slow so I start jogging.  tonight it’s fairly cool, a bit breezy and the moon is bright, not yet full.  It was hiding behind the clouds most of the time with only a few peeks out occasionally, but it was beautiful.   Before I realized it I had jogged about 2 and a half miles.

Weird how mental it all is.   If I start out determined to run a specific 5 mile route, I am often mentally done with it in a mile or so.  But if I just take off with no real destination in mind, no set mileage  I intend to do, I end up doing more and having an easier time of it.  Not to mention enjoying it more.

]]> http://evyb1.wordpress.com/2009/09/30/2-more-days-before-the-big-day/feed/ 0 Evy DSC02565 http://evyb1.wordpress.com/2009/09/26/7-days-to-go/ http://evyb1.wordpress.com/2009/09/26/7-days-to-go/#comments Sat, 26 Sep 2009 17:32:29 +0000 Evy http://evyb1.wordpress.com/?p=370 ]]> Does this look like a count down?

It is to me.  The anticipation is building.  I’m looking forward to seeing how the real professionals do this thing called trail running.

Me, I’m just an amateur.   I feel so untrained and my biggest wonder is “Am I ready?”.

This morning I got up and hit the LT for the last time before the BIG DAY.  I’m pretty pleased with my mileage and time.  I did 9.5 miles in 2 hours and 55 minutes.  The last 3.2 miles (measured by car) I did in 29 minutes.  Very pleased with that as my last timed 5K was last September and it took me 37 minutes.  But, this 5K was all on a slight downgrade coming down Little Bear Road.  Kind of cheating.     I did better than before on the hills, jogged quite a bit and feel pretty good about the hike.    I will be ok and make all the cut off times for the Mega if I can keep that pace.    I am slower than I wanted to be at this point, but I have to remember that I really just started this a year and a half ago.  I can’t push too hard or I will injure myself.

It is a chilly day today and was in the low 50′s when I hit the trail.  My light jacket came off by the time I got to Helen’s Window.  I was pouring sweat already, even though you could see my breath in the air.    I jogged to the point where you begin the climb to Smith’s Knob….actually made the worst part of that climb in under 5 minutes, but could barely breathe when I got to the top of it.  Stopped a few seconds to catch my breath and let my heart rate drop below 150.  The walk along that ridge top was amazing.  The sun was still shining, but the wind was blowing pretty well and I could feel the storm that is coming in.

I felt so alive.

The view from the Smith’s Knob lookout was phenomenal.  Mountain top after mountain top framing the valley with several low valley clouds still hanging over the hollows.  Where is my camera at times like these?  I chose not to take it today because I just didn’t want to carry it.  Darn it!

My route today was to take the LT from the Ranger Station off Little Bear Road to the 9.10 mile point where the Red X trail cuts off, take that to the Blue Trail and down to Little Bear Road, then follow the road back to my car.    I was on that Red X trail section and the Blue Trail earlier this spring when I helped the Alpine Club with a work day and found that Blue Trail to be beautiful.  My memory served me correctly, it is a section of trail that follows a small stream heading to Little Bear Creek.  It goes mostly though hemlocks and the trail is soft with needles and leaves.    I can’t wait to run that after a light snow in the winter…it will be beautiful in all seasons.

The Red X trail passes several hunting cabins and as Archery season starts next Saturday (I think) there were some cabins occupied.  I can’t help but worry a bit when I am out on the trail alone with just Zena for company.  Things can happen to a woman alone in the woods.  But today was fine, one man offered me a bottle of water.  Thank you but I carry my own.   I will find a way to take a self defense class over the winter though.  I spend too much time out there alone to not have some basic skills.

It seems such a…..

what is the word I want?

Quandry

Conundrum

Confliction

I am working and training for the race next Saturday.   The emotions are Anticipation, Excitement, Nervousness, even Pride that I have come this far.

And I am worried about Holly and wishing I could be there more for her.  The emotions there are intense as well.  Sadness, Pain, Grief, Empathy.

Conflicting emotions it would seem, yet all are present in me at the same time.

Perhaps the very existence of them at the same time is what keeps me calm inside for both situations?

10 more days.

Last evening I did the first mile of the LT again.  I had not been on the trail in 2 weeks so am really pleased with my new PR to Sock Rock.  17 min, 10 sec.   My previous best was 18.7. WooHoo!!!   to the mile marker in 21 minutes and back to the bottom….total still 55 min.    Off and on showers made the trail very slick in spots and I had to really pick my way down the steepest sections.

Please don’t let it rain the day of the race!  I hate to do that boulder field on wet rocks.

I got my informational email today:

Megatransect Information:
Friday night package pick-up 5-9pm Food/Refreshments
Saturday package pick-up 5:30 6:45am Breakfast / Coffee
Pick-up your Timing Chip on Saturday morning before the start
Wear your Timing Chip on your ankle
Make sure your Timing Chip and your Bib number match
Race Starts 7:00 am Saturday Oct. 3rd
Showers available, Bring your own towel
Free camping at Start/Finish area

Shower…Pizza…Pig Roast….free beer!!!  Not bad after 10 hours (or so) of exertion.

Other than the 5K I ran last year, I’ve never attempted anything quite like this.

Wonder what the chip is like and how you wear it around your ankle?

I think I’ll just pick my stuff up early saturday morning, I only have a 35 minute drive to the start and probably won’t be able to sleep that morning anyway.

I can’t believe after all this time Lisa can’t do it!

I was kind of counting on the fun of doing it together, of having someone with me when I do the unfamiliar around over 700 people.

But hey.

I’m a big girl.

I started this initially on my own, although it didn’t take me long to warm up to the idea of Lisa doing it with me.  : )

Either way it’s still really just me against the mountain.

So, how is my training going?

I dunno….I am not doing as much as I wish I was doing.   The kids schedules and other obligations have slowed my up a bit. Down from training 6 days a week to 5 days a week and my mileage is not where I wish it was.  I have managed at least 20 miles a week, but wish it was more like 30 – 35.  Weight Training…2 nights a week instead of 3.  Not ideal, but better than none.   I feel that my core strength is much better than it used to be. Back to not being able to do a pull up though…my left arm hurts so much when I work on that.   Push ups doing well though….staying the same, 3 sets of 15….not progressing.   All the other stuff, squats, lunges, step ups, etc…..all really staying the same since it is hard to progress higher on 2 days a week.

My plan at this point is

Tonight….Gym for weights

Tomorrow…Run outside   4 – 5 miles

Fri…off (out to our 5 year anniversary dinner)

Saturday….hopefully fit in a 10 miler, but hard to tell.  Also want to ride motorcycle and do some housework.

Sunday….off  again  (driving to Reading to visit my Holly)

Monday…weights

Tuesday….run

Wed….Weights

Thurs….off  (walk Zena)

Fri…..off  (walk Zena)

Wow! how time flies…. I wonder if my real life schedule will actually allow me to do what I have planned?   Driving Chris and Cody to work interferes with that sometimes.

I’m kind of nervous.  I know that I will be competing with people who are so much more fit than I am.  People who have done this stuff as a way of life for years and years….not just 2 years.   But I also know that honestly the word “competing” doesn’t really fit at all when it comes to this race.  Some of them will be finished before I hit Zindel Park.   Well, maybe not…I think last time around I hit the park at under 4 hours.  There will also be people who have done less training than I have, people who will only be hiking, not running at all.  The real competition is against yourself.  Mental readiness to face the hardship and keep going.  Push limits while climbing as fast as I can.

Breathe, breathe, breathe…..

I can do this.

I will do this

For Holly

She and I went to rent a video.  We sat in the parking lot at the rental store and talked and talked and talked. At one point I remember her looking at me in the eye and saying “I have a secret”.

She shared that secret with me, I shared a secret with her, and we have been best friends ever since. 

We have shared our lives. We have had times that we lived a few miles from each other and spent nearly every waking moment together and we’ve had times where we lived hours away from each other and rarely get together.   No matter what is going on in our lives we know that we are there when times are good or times are bad.

Now my Holly no longer has her health.  She is 9 days older then me and her body acts like it is 85.  She is in severe pain all of the time and has been for years now.  It’s finally reached the point where she can no longer pretend, even to herself, that meds or sheer will power will make it OK.

She has done her best to hide it from me and because I was busy and involved in my own life, I let her.

Sunday I went to visit my best friend in the hospital and watched her pain.  I watched her struggle to get up out of bed, walk with the help of a walker, helped her shower.  She finally opened up to me and let me see her pain, her struggle with life.

And I now hide my pain.

Eventually I will allow myself to feel it.  Cry, wallow in my misery, scream at God for allowing such a beautiful young woman to suffer so much in her life, face my own guilt for the ease in which I have lived my life while she has had so much suffering.  But for now I am stuffing it into the back closet and shutting the door.

I have a best friend to help,  kids to raise, a race to run, training to complete, a home to maintain….I don’t have time to deal with those emotions.

I can’t deal with the prospect of losing my best friend.  Not now.   We are supposed to grow old together and be two gray haired ladies driving down the road, sharing an apartment and being the “Golden Girls”.

This is NOT part of the plan!

Most of us work in our lives to make things fair, even though we know that life is not fair.  But do we ever really face how unfair it is?

I keep wondering how the time flies by so fast.  You would think I’d just get used to how fast it goes and stop marveling at it.  Oh well….

Saturday I did the dam half course at halfway dam outside of Lewisburg.  The course was completely flagged because the race is this saturday.  Zena and I got started around 8:30 am….it was foggy, like soup.  The high humidity made it hard to breath at times.  The course is different than most of the trails I’ve been on so far.  There are only 3 (I think) steep climbs, the steepest one they call “The Stairway to Heaven” goes up 700 ft. in a half mile.  While climbing that one I seriously felt like I have no training whatsoever under me!  I was climbing slow and still had to stop to catch my breath several times.   The main thing that kept me slow on this route was the rocks.  It is the rockiest trail and I kept having to pick my way across the rocks.  I’m anxious to see how “trained professionals” handle areas like this.

I can’t help but worry about being ready for the Mega… It took me 5 hours to do this course and when I look at the time records for last year, the last person was under 5 hours.   I love being out there and I do my best, but I’m slow.   Oh well….I guess I’ll find out.
Last evening I planned out a 5 mile route to jog.  This time it didn’t go according to plan.  I had a really hard time jogging and ended up walking for most of just 2 miles.  I kept getting shin splints and had a hard time with my breathing.     Also I was dreading the drive to the Harrisburg airport to pick up Cody and then the drive back.  I guess my head just wasn’t in it.